Well, it’s not like one can attend a sporting event (unless one is a cardboard cutout). Even if a bunch of tiny tots wishes to get together and play a sport, it’s just not happening. In lieu of this, here’s a not entirely unsatisfactory substitute, pinball.

How about the classic American pastime of baseball? My brothers and me played baseball all summer long when we were kids, and completely obliterated the grass in the backyard (which makes mowing quite easy). I did watch baseball until I got rid of cable tv, so I suppose I don’t miss it. (Apparently they held a World Series this year for the many cardboard fans.)

From the vintage look of these machines I would guess that this sport is not currently popular (except among cardboard persons).

The other sport that I usually watch is ice hockey, and I typically go to a couple of games each year.

Hockey has also been around as a sport for quite a while, my brothers played alley hockey but I didn’t (and I never got the hang of hockey skates).

But supposing one didn’t want to see a sporting event, but wanted to see their favorite band (too bad for you).

There’s a game for that too.

Or how about the pinball wizard from the 1975 movie “Tommy”? it doesn’t have nearly the features of the previous game, but it does make all the proper pinball noises.

And then there are the grandfathers of pop music, with a rather elaborate machine that celebrates their early years. But wait a minute, there’s a “kiss meter” right next to this. Maybe it means that Kiss rules! (or not as the case may be).

These substitutes are now available to play, at least until 5 pm Friday, when everything goes into hibernation.